We had Christmas, as we celebrated our 9th Christmas in the Philippines. Not 'Christmassy' at all. My wife went to Manila on the 19th of December, and took my son with her. They flew down on a Philippine Airlines plane from a nearby city, Tuguegarao, just north of us. She left me with a fully-decorated yard full of lighted trees that I almost killed myself, balancing on an ultra-tall ladder, to hang long strings of little white lights on, only to abandon it all to go to our condo in Makati, which was NOT decorated at all. She managed to find a Christmas tree...a fake white one). She called me and told me to bring her car down, as we never attempt to drive my car (a 2008 BMW 7 Series) to Manila just to get it stolen. So, off I went, leaving all the little white lights on the trees beautifully blinking as I drove out of the driveway., in the wife's Ford Escort. She has badgered me for the past six months to get her a new larger car. So, I took off on the 24th at 6:00 in the morning to hurry to the Ford dealership. "Just looking", was the answer to 8 salesmen approaching me in unison, wearing little red and white Santa hats, resplendent with the fur around it. Until I saw this Explorer in the corner of the showroom sales floor, I was wondering if I should go over to the Toyota dealer. Doing the normal things we do to new vehicles, smelling the newness inside, closing the door, looking at the instrumentation, and listening to the "whump" of the sturdiness of the SUV...the routine...I ended up buying the vehicle from the smallest, and newest salesperson on the floor. A 16 year-old kid; a girl. I found out, after she brought me the sales manager, did I find out this "kid" was the owner's daughter. Well, I got it registered, insured on-the-spot and drove it to the condo and parked it in the garage under the building in our "spot". My son managed, for Christmas presents, to wind up with a Nokia N95-8GB (whatever that is), and a new MP5, (I know what that is), more clothes, a new haircut, new shoes, something new for his computer (that I don't know what it is or how it works), two pair of fashion sunglasses for men (although he is a 15-year old boy), and other 'things'. The surprise ended for my wife when the security guard rang our doorbell and informed me that they had just towed somebody's Ford Explorer off which was parked in our "spot". I screamed, "You idiots...that was my wife's new SUV!!" I did not "register" it with security when I brought it to the parking garage under the building (and had no condo owner sticker on the windshield), so they thought it was somebody else's'. My wife was the one to recover it, three hours later, after paying a P2,000.00 (peso) "towing and storage charge". All she said to me was, "Thanks, John...I like the new Explorer." Want to know what I got for Christmas...I'll reluctantly tell you it was a pair of Chinese "KayPee" sneakers (about P200.00 pesos...$4), and a toothbrush...soft! Merry Christmas, everyone! What's going to happen on New Years Eve? I'm hiding someplace, like in the closet.
JK (By the way...this is an absolutely true story).
